05/09/2008
Quick note
For those of you were concerned... the earlier depressing post (before the happy, crotchety one) was not about a recent occurance. The events being referred to happened about 3 or 4 months ago and it is simply that recent comments have sparked them off....
:P
xXx
21:46 Posted in Complete Random Junk! | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
On a happier crotchet....
Just finished with the Ladies Baber-Shop choir and WE SOUND GOOD! lmao... we actually do. :D I love taking choirs, particularly when we are singing good music. I don't get the chance that often and though I suppose this choir is technically Sutcliff's baby, its great to have been so involved.
In the space of 30 minutes we have gone from utterly fudging something to singing it pretty damn well. It didn't take the much either. Just a little bit of breaking things apart and working on lines in pairs. Saying difficult rhythms before we sang them. Working out how parts linked together and where things were either consonant or dissonant. Things I have learnt from countless choir directors over the last decade and a bit (from their successes and mistkaes). Elementary stuff.
Practise.
The choir just needed a few corners ironing out. Just a few odd notes coorrected and rhythms reheased to precision. Just a little confidense and familiarity. OH and fun! Lots of laughs, lots of jokes... lots of arguments over who was more stunning: The Alto's or Sopranos (The Metzos decided they won hands down anyway). But it is truly wonderful to work with a choir who will be in hysterics and then you count them 4 in and they find their note and start singing! :D Makes such a difference.
But I am good at it. It is one of the few things I'll admit I am good at. And I love it so much.
xXx
PS: Please excuse the appalling pun... it's my blog and I'll write what I like however much it insults the English language.
10:17 Posted in Fun , Life , Music | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
Its a new dawn... A new day...
And for those of you who read my facebook status, it isn't much better at all really.
I don't think I'll ever really question what I did. By the end of it I had no choice in the matter. A series of mistakes (from all parties) had pushed things to a more than unpleasent conclusion and as far as I can see - even in hindsight - I had very few choices left.
Hurting someone out of necessity prompts enough guilt. But that isn't the hard bit. The hard bit is that you can never be sure of your reasons; never be sure how much of what drove you was necessity and how much was just final retaliation at being pushed too far. Who can day how much was a desperate attempt to sort out the conequences of a mistake and how much was just hitting out and hitting hard.
It may have been necessity, but the necessity might well only have been an excuse in your mind.
And that bugs me somewhat.
Ignorance is no excuse, giving up is no excuse... necessity is a poor one.... cruelty and revenge is heartless.
I suppose the solution is:
- Would I now (in calmer and rational hindsight) do things differetly? No.
- Did I hate them then or now? No.
And that, regretfully, must be my answer. The past haas been and gone and I hope this time around I learnt my lessons. It seems regrettably that some level of cruelty is part of life. And maybe the more significant part of it is how much it hurts us when we are forced to choose the lesser of two evils. Maybe what defines us is not what we do but the ultimate reasons behind it.
More importantly, maybe we are defined by how we react and respond to our own acts of cruelty - necessary or unnecessary. Do we feel guilt? Do we try to learn, to study where things became inevitable and strive to avoid a repetition. Do we deal with the fall out responsibly and rationally.
In a world where too often it seems that our choices aren't between black and white, but varying shades of grey and greyer... Maybe what we have to hold on to is our own integrity: our intentions, our compassion... and ultimately our strength and determination that by the end of it we will try to do right by those around us.
And if the end result hurts us as much as it hurt them, and still you would not change what you chose... then it may well have been right, and you may well find the strength to live with yourself someday, and it may well work out for the better in the end (Only God could tell you that) ... But you will have learnt something.
And that is what life seems to be about for the most part.
xXx
07:25 Posted in Life , Thoughts | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
05/08/2008
And who knows where the time goes...
Who indeed.
- I have been reasonably productive today... sorted the board in my room that has been bugging me for at least a term - I took EVERYTHING down and now it all clean and, well not pretty, but at least I can look at it.
- I also organised my desk and put my notes in piles according to subject which I thought was excessively dedicated. Its really nice to be able to walk into my room again without cringing.
- I have sent off both sets of Music CW (recorded an average performance yesterday but apparently good enough).
- I did a UNIT 6 biology paper in 55 minutes (1h 10min exam) and I reckon I got about 80% - the extra 15 minutes should put be to a healthier mark.
- I went to a Gospel Choir Rehearsal and prodded the sopranos for being lazy and not making any noise... it was more the minimal effort I was complaining about not the actual noise.
- I had my first tutorial in over a month. :D Good to talk to Sue again.... interesting how much seemed important at the time, but doesn't get mentioned when you have the chance to say something. But that is another story. Oh! And all tutorials should happen in the sun. :D
- I had an organ lesson. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Piece Heroique :D It is such a beautiful piece. Most of it is not too hard either, just a few bars where you are playing 3 against 2 IN ONE HAND. Still very much fun. French music is goooood.
- I sat in the sun... found a most accommodating tree root actually.
- I went to theater crew and peeled gaffa tape off the stage - WHY does he have to buy the really cheap stuff?
- I had dinner
Oh and I told Deveson I was going to Edinburgh... He isn't happy. He thinks I'll regret it. i wonder how much that is just because *he* would regret it? I know I was good enough to get in, so it isn't a failure on my part... oh well.
Too many music rehearsals :( But then again there is a mahuuuusive concert tomorrow night so I suppose that is fair. My lips will be killing me by then! ! ! ! All in the name of fun though. Meh, been having thoughts about oboe, interesting state of ambivalence really. I might tell you about it sometime.
But yes.... it's funny how quickly the time passes. How recently it seems I was revising for January modules. How recently I was at Sidmouth. How recently I was doing last years Cabaret.... Simultaneously, all those things feel like they belong to a different age, a different place, a different person.
I think it is that duality that is the confusing part.
The last 2 months have passed in a blur... they really have. But equally it feels like an age since IVFDF and Celidhs and Ceroc / Jive in walking boots in the Student Union bar! Good times, good friends, good memories... soon to be repeated (Sidmouth :D)... so recent, yet so far away.
xXx
17:48 Posted in Complete Random Junk! , Thoughts | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
05/05/2008
Of cabbages and kings...
We did make tiramisu. It was really rather good although I can think of several possible improvements and things to experiment with next time we try. Should be fun, although I don't think we will ever beat the Clowns Tiamisu.
I did spend 8 hours of this weekend on Public Transport: And it was not fun. Well actually all the journeys bar 20 minutes of the last were absoultely fine. I love travelling by train and bus is always better than car, particularly when I am so tired I can ignore the wet floor. But from Leicester to some other stop I was forced to overhear a duet of: (a) 12 year old male chavs f-ing and blinding about anything they could possible insult and (b) 16 year old female slones talking about this time they almost called the police because "this guy like, so, like, attacked me, but then I didn't want to upset his sister... but the parents!... Honestly!"
Then these two groups overheard each other and started a rather loud, inarticulate and clumsy battle of: "I can win one over on you dirty lowlife/snobs".... It stopped me getting so sleep which irritated me.
I am going to Edinburgh: I sent the reply at 3:30 yesterday... the deadline was 6pm today. I am now more than a little excited... so watch this space around Feburary when I start trying to find accomodation. :D :D *sings* "I am going to study Music at Edinburgh, I am going to study Music at Edinburgh, I am going to study Music at Edinburgh, I am going to study Music at Edinburgh, I am going to study Mu....
OK enough of that maybe
Had a really good weekend though :D Will be grinning for a while yet. And although I'm exhausted school doesn't look so bad this week - that is liable to frequent and inexplicable change, but hey! we can start well
xXx
22:41 Posted in Complete Random Junk! | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this