If life were a bowl of cherries...

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05/11/2007

Departmental

I could see she had something on her mind... so could everyone else I think - well almost everyone else. As usual the boss managed to walk in jovial and blind as ever, and opened the days proceedings with insults, ridicule and a healthy dash of chauvinism. The "precious" thing visibly flinched at his banter, maybe a little more than something then.

gfd

Bert caught my eye as she walked in. Well I think he did, he has an irksome habbit of that. I can never be quite sure what he means, whether he is in jest or ernest, whether an action was intentional or purely coincidental. I suppose it may be a bit of both, but that just seems like a cop out answer. He might have been trying to warn me or he might not, either way he completely failed to prepare me for what happened next.

gfd

Can I suggest any motives behind his actions? Yes. Can I prove any of my theories? No. It is entirely possible that for some reason Bert decided that today was the day when one too many people had walked into the room and dumped all of their files, papers, stationary, coffee and clothing onto his desk. It might have been the case that for once he had just decided to loose it. Maybe he was bored. Maybe he was fed up (nothing new there). But it isn't every day you see a grown man throw a full scale temper tantrum.

gfd

It was actually fairly systematic. He moved along from the door to his computer steadily weeding out everything he couldn't recognise as his. By weeding out I mean throwing across the room. Rhi's laptop was fortunately elsewhere, but the case and it's contents found their way to the door (and all her files soon followed). The pile of papers ended up by the far window - I swear you couldn't throw paper that far without making an aeroplane first. The jacket flew quite gracefully into Jamie's face and to put the icing on the cake (which incidentally was not touched despite belonging to me) the hole punch was thrown rather heavily against the wall. The tuneful accompaniment to this outburst was a steady crescendo of noise punctuated by explitives and the occasional thud as more objects hit the floor.

gfd

I have to confess I was laughing too hard at the colour of his face (redenning in proportion to his volume) to pay much attention to his words. Rhi managed to top everything off. Breaking out of her reverie for a few minutes she took it upon herself to "help". I almost doubled over as she picked up the first of his pens and handed it to him with a smile. Confused he took it and put it back where it had been, so she picked up the next. The process continued until he slammed the final item down back onto his desk with a stamp

gfd

Of course that would be when the boss walked back into the room.

gfd

Trying to empathise with d'Enovers is something I avidly avoid, but it's not difficult to imagine his thoughts as he tried to step over the pile of junk in the doorway. I don't quite know what shocked him more. The five beetroot faces expressing varying degrees of mania? The barricade? The tidy desk? Or the thousand or so small paper circles about 5mm in diameter which were now strewn across the floor.

"T'was Perkin's," Bert finally managed to mumble through gritted teeth - he didn't dare to turn around. Rhi's wordless outrage contradicted this and I have to say that both looked as guilty (and contrite) as the other. We were all still giggling, but the good 80cm distance from the crime scene immediately put us out of questioning.

"So this is when the MD walked in yes? Conference Room... NOW Perkins!" No surprises then that d'Enovers would simply ignore the entire thing. What repsonsability is it of his if his minions decide to play war with the office?

Rhi left - suddenly very calm in a way that reminded me ominously of "The Green Mile". I didn't know she was that scared about the whole presentation thing or I would have offered more help. But then again I don't know a lot of things.

Bert returned to his desktop as though nothing had happened. And I found myself wondering once again how much more than me he knows. And how much he hides. Why today would he go to such extreme measures to clear his desk (knowing full well that at 8:30am sharp my coffee will be back in it's standard position at his left elbow)?

Or why today would he go to such extreme measures to make a colleugue smile?

gfd

I was still wondering when Rhi returned and left again - followed by his wishes of good luck.

Some people just know things and to be honest, after today, maybe I'm glad I don't.

xXx

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