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05/16/2008
Look back and see where you've come from
Not really sure why.
I'm not liking how much seems to have crashed it's way into the next 3 months. How much I don't seem to be able to get out of. Trying to tie together what I want to do, what I should do and what I must do. And the last category contains enough to fill most of my time whilst any spaces are suitably plugged by the penultimate category.
It is very odd, the run down of the end of school: Had a lifeguarding meet yesterday which was highly entertaining (even if Watson did seem to vanish rapidly) and it was great to see everyone together. It is a rare and pleasent thing when you end up working in a group that clicks so well - an hours training (/helping with an assesment) followed by playing with the floats and big ball followed by tea and biscuits in the sports centre. Although I was a little tired after 90 minutes in the pool. Thinking of doing a lifeguarding trip punting in the summer...
The same is true of Chemistry. Out teacher was stuck in traffic (Stupid new Guided Bus!!! 12 months of HORRENDOUS (even for Cambs) traffic) so we couldn't start the cake... but it was actually a surprisingly good lesson. None of us were in the mindset for practise papers so we just did a massive spider chart of Nitrogen Chemistry on the white board and then question and answer sessions from the random revision cards that were lying around. I will miss the dynamic in that class... teasing, jokes, some truly colossal red-herrings and people who actually put the work in enough of the time to make a difference. :D It's been a good year.
There is little I will actually miss from the Leys, but I think that those two will feature on the list. Also break times, just because you have the chance to wonder up to the kitchen, grab some food and just sit around chatting or reading the paper for half an hour with whoever turns up. I doubt I will really find that level of regular socialness unless I actually do go into teaching, which is not beyond the realms of possibility.
Irksome. I have spent much of my life dreaming of true solitude, or rather, the chance to go new places and discover new things. I've always longed for the chance to walk down a street where no one knows my name. I've striven for the chance to make it on my own, to stand on my own two feet, do my own thing and be acknowledged for the things I've done. I've wanted to find friends and around me but build my own life. Finally, I now have that chance ....
And now I have finally learnt the difference true companionship / friendship can make.
I have found people that I not only would not mind sharing my adventures (sucesses and failures) with. People I want to show the things I discover. People I wouldn't mind having there to catch me when I stumble. For the first time I will not only appreciate the time I can spend with the people I admire and love, but I will also miss them when I don't have that. There are about 5 people on that list I think. That is seven people too many.
A valuable lesson to learn, maybe? .... Just not now????
And this just came on:
Everytime we say goodbye, I die a little,
Everytime we say goodbye, I wonder why? a little,
Why the Gods above me, who must be in the know.
Think so little of me, they allow you to go.
When you're near, there's such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There's no love song finer, but how strange the change
from major to minor,
Everytime we say goodbye.
When you're near, there's such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There's no love song finer, but how strange the change
from major to minor,
Everytime we say goodbye.
xXx
13:59 Posted in Thoughts | Permalink | Email this
Comments
A goodbye is simply an excuse,
to run into someones arms rather than walk.
X
Posted by: stuart | 05/17/2008