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05/30/2008
Wittering
A while back I made some, apparently erroneous, claim to be "wittering". This promted a rather amusing and enlightening email from a friend with rather emphatic views on the subject.
Noooo! If you're going to claim to be *wittering* in your Blog, you've got to
try harder than that! Let's see where you went wrong:
1. Chose a serious subject. Noo! The world's finest wittering is
generally considered to be about hairspray. Lip gloss is good too.
2. Used far too many nouns! Proper witter consists almost entirely
of pronouns.
3. No repetition! This is NOT "Just a minute"! Say everything at least
three times.
4. No adherence to the Daily Express style guidelines at all!
Instead of "I am not sure if I could advocate the birth of a child to a
single woman through IVF simply from a logistical perspective."... ...
I stand corrected and will endevour to improve my wittering style. If
anyone else has any useful tips or rules to aid me in my quest for
the art or wittering, do post them up.
xXx
09:55 Posted in Complete Random Junk! | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this
Comments
Be careful what you wish for!
If you succeed in your quest to become an accomplished and confident Witterer, it will have a profound influence on the course of your life.
You will notice that all men within witter-range will at very least let their eyes glaze over. Do not mistake this for lurve.
You will accumulate evidence that they are NOT LISTENING which is always useful in a point-scoring sort of way.
A few will queue up to batter you to death despite your quite reasonable witter about how they should reorganise the queue
I'd stick to drinking if I were you. You're good at that :-P
Posted by: Steve | 05/30/2008
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