05/01/2008
Few words... big thoughts
1. I like the Anglican Communion service.
Wonderful as it is to o things differently, much as I truly love the original and art / meditation / "free" services... there is something reassuring about tradration. It is not something to be relied upon, or taken as absolute. But sometimes you just need the familiarity of words you have said since birth - a little like sometimes you need to read a book you've read 100 times before, or listen to a song you know by heart, or sit on your favourite bench and pass the time of day. Today was one of those days I needed to feel at home... unfortunately I go to a Methodist School... so they messed all the words up anyway. But it was good to have communion again, it's been a while.
2. I miss labwork
The thing is that despite finding classroom science intrinsically dull, I really very much enjoyed lab work. And I was good at it. I still am if today's basic transformation is anything to go by. Although I DETEST the BioRad "School's Protocols" - It takes them 2 sides of A4 to say what I can sum up in 28 words! But I miss the level of concentration and organisation and dexterity that is needed foreven the most basic experiments. I really *must* go back to it sometime.
3. It's strange what makes you forgive people.
Many of you know that my Music teacher and I have not been on the best of terms lately. I have been failing to make his life easy from him and he has been making me cry (or hit things).... Deadlines, panic but mostly pride contributed to both side's rather rigid perspective. Yesterday evening my teacher was taking his dog for a walk. And his dog (who is very old, smelly and completely deaf) decided he had better ideas. Said dog chose to, instead of lagging 4 or 5 metres behind as per normal, run rings around his owner. So I had the delight of seeing my teachers (suit and all) flailing wildly, spinning on the spot, grabing handfuls of air as he struggled (for a good minute) to catch this semi-decrepid canine. It made me laugh.
It also made me remember that everyone has their days when nothing goes right. And that when multiple people have those days (or weeks) simultaneously then the results are not proportional, they are exponential.
It made me forgive him
4. Sun is glorious, but rain is still soothing.
I went to sleep last night with the sound of the rain pouring off the guttering dumming it's own rhythm in my ears. Normally all I hear is the hiss of the heating and the infrequent mumblings of the lives of those around me as they too prepare for the night. The rain is something else. I'm not sure how much of it was the steady rhythm, how much the idea of washing everything that was "yesterday" away and how much of it was the anticipation of tomorrows rich green and lush scents, but the sound calmed me.
Which is impressive as I was quite restless last night.
5. I like, liking going home.
It's been a long time sicne I've wanted to go home. A long time since that has been a destination of choice as opposed to duty (there are obvious exceptions to this, but I am speaking from a general point of view). I really quite love the fact that home is becoming something to look forward to. It is a surreal sensation. ... However difficult things get blood runs thickly in my family - maybe that is where a lot of the problems stem from... I don't know.
I'm just enjoying the change in my perspective, refreshing... and comforting.
xXx
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02/23/2008
A world to believe in...
Everyone believes in something. That fact is inescapable. Whilst we may denounce religion, faith, law, scientific research, animal rights, human rights, politics and even our friends or family, everyone believes something. People believe in their friends, people believe in their job or abilities and people believe in their affluence, estate and the power they hold. People believe they are right and they form opinions of the beliefs that other hold. Some people even believe in a God. In the worst scenario I suppose that a person could believe that nothing is worthy of trust. That is still a belief, albeit a desperate one.
Very few people believe in this world.
A free media report a degenerating and desolate world. We hear stories of abduction, murder, rape, genocide, poverty, debt, pollution, exticition, terrorism, disease, faillure, famine, war, drugs, deceit... And then the situation becomes worse, and suddenly we hear nothing. Who knows what is going on in Burmah now?
Hope seems to be a very personal thing. Does anyone dare hope for anything greater than a good home and secure livelyhood? People talk blithely of changing the world until quizzed, then they pour forth a host of reasons why the revolution must wait. First, they say, TNCs have to act, the government must pass more laws, celebrities need to take a stand. I have heard them call on the wealthy, the unemployed, the old, the young... in short everyone who is not them. Why does no one put their neck out saying, "I am here and I will stand for what is right, what is good,"?
Count the number of people you know who believe that there is hope for this world as a whole. Count the number of people you know who believe that change will ever happen on a large scale. Let me know if you need two hands.
How can we expect people to stand without hope?
I can't say that there is much I've hoped for at all in the past few months. I think that *getting by* has been the order of the day and much of the time I have ended up acting impulsively, going from pillar to post without any idea of where I am going or where I want to end up. As a result I've lost things and people I value, hurt those I care for and done a number of things I regret intensely. I understand why so many people find oblivion preferable - "drinking through the lies and broken promises".
Archbishop Rowan said something very curious today at his talk in Cambridge. In the Gospel of John, the first two things Jesus says are, "What do you want?" and "Come and see." He used this point in explaining what faith is and how people find it. He also said that it was a little like listening to Bach's St Matthew Passion... it could (is) be glorious, but to enjoy it fully you had to sit through the entire thing - no one ever advertises a "St Matthew Passion in 10 minutes". Neither is it always particularly easy to listen to.
As the Archibishops were talking this evening it was strange to watch everyone hanging onto thier every word. The building was packed, even strangers on the street were coming to the door and asking why "all of Cambridge are here tonight" ("It's like the blooming Tardis"). People laughed and they smiled, they clapped and then they were silent. Hard questions were asked and brutally honest answers given. The evening was packed with thoughts and ideas, intelligent answers that make no assumptions left much room for pondering - there was too much to take in in one evening. But I think near everyone walk away infected by the passion and realtistic hope that those two wise men embodied. No false promises or dreams of converting the universe, just a deep set hope in a world that we can believe in.
I now know why thousands flocked to hear Martin Luther King speak. Hope is infectious.
And for the first time in a good many months I began to think about what I could do - what I hoped for. It is important to know what you want, and to take the time to find out. But that is only the start... the harder thing is to take the risk and to come and see where that desire and hope will lead you.
I don't know where I will go, or where I will end up. I don't know what I will do with the time I have. I don't expect to be great or influencial. Neither do I particularly want it. I want to live a life that I wont be ashamed of. I want to do what I can, where I can for the people I meet. I want to find some sense of peace and wholeness in myself, not split myself over 2 or 3 completely different lifestyles and struggle to find the balance between them. I want to believe in this world and the people in it; that there is "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow".
"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future. When she speaks her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions." Proverbs 31:25-26
That is what I want. And I think that is worth the pain and trauma of "coming to see".
xXx
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03/23/2007
"And by his stripes, we are healed"
V
No more school.... 3 weeks holiday now consisting of Revision
SAILING
And revision + visit to twigs hopefully. :D But mostly revision or more accurately, learning of the stuff that I misunderstood/didn't pay attention to in the last week weeks of term. (mostly biology and biological systems which are just confusing eg. oogenisis!).
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09/24/2006
BMS mission Harvest 2006
A song of ascents.
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion
we were like men who dreamed.
Our mouths were filled with laughter
our tongues with songs of joy.
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
"The LORD has done great things for them."
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
The LORD has done great things for US,
and we are filled with joy.
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
Restore our fortunes,
O LORD,
like streams in the Negev.
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
He who goes out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
Will return
with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
BMS is focusing this Harvest on Burma and the millions of refugees fleeing and living in camps for the last 22 years. They are using this psalm as a focus for the work they are doing to improve the lives of victims trapped in a foreign country with no apparent cause for hope in the near future
What I want to know is
What is so repugnant about Burma that no one wants to report this? There is no media attention on this area whatsoever - with 150 000 currently living in Thailand refugee camps and over a million still hiding in the Burmese Jungles.
Anyway, brilliant presentation, and an amazing reading/video of that psalm... take a look if you can (I dont know)...
xXx
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08/20/2006
Home
Soul survivor was good :D very fun... also very challenging and difficult at times, desperately need to talk through a lot still and I've spent a large part of the week talking - just shows just how much builds up when you make a point of ignoring everything! ugh! I will gradually post updates, particularly on some excellent seminars, and also on general impressions and things I didn't agree with so much - just to be fair!
However, brain feels like it is being pushed through a garlic press so you will all just have to wait for now! and I shall leave with a load of lyrics that I have in my head!
Through the suffering still I will sing
When hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
When pain surrounds, I'll call You Healer
When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart Tim Hughes – I’ve had questions I can only imagine what it will be like,
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see,
When Your Face is before me!
I can only imagine. I can only imagine. Refrain
Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!
Bart Millard – I can only imagine Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be. Refrain Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me! Thomas O. Chisholm and William M. Runyan – Great is thy Faithfulness xXx
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04/23/2006
Evangalism?
Topic discussed a little at lunch, in the service and also on Anne's blog :P So I thought I should comment
Evangalism
The word has become one that means so many things, all different and all claiming to be the one way. The dictionary has this to say:
e·van·gel·ism (ĭ-văn'jə-lĭz'əm) 
n.
- Zealous preaching and dissemination of the gospel, as through missionary work.
- Militant zeal for a cause.
e·van'gel·is'tic (-jə-lĭs'tĭk) adj.
e·van'gel·is'ti·cal·ly adv.
dis·sem·i·na·tion
n.
[L. disseminatio: cf. F. dissémination.]
The act of disseminating, or the state of being disseminated; diffusion for propagation and permanence; a scattering or spreading abroad, as of ideas, beliefs, etc.
The universal dissemination of those writings.
Anyway... I shall now consider:
- As a Christian I believe that there is a need to communicate the Gospel and salvation to others (Matthew 28:19,20). People need to know, that issue can not be avoided.
- Scripture is a wonderful thing: it has help and comfort and answers to difficult issues/questions... there is use in knowing parts and being able to call on certain verses as comfort and reassurance and also to aid explanations of beliefs. But we can not assume that these are failsafe for all circumstances, it can be terribly offputting and confusing if used without consideration of the person and circumstances and need. Good knowledge of the Bible is useful, the wisdom of how and when to use it is crucial.
- Public speaking: some people obviously have a gift for it, and its an amazing way to communicate and draw people's attention, but no one should be forced to listen or scared/guilt tripped into believing. If God has given us free choice to choose him how then do we assume the right to remove that and attempt to *make* people choose him.
- Literature/music/drama: pretty similar points. Literature and music and drama are amazing ways of communicating but pushing a flier into someone's hand and telling them they have *GOT* to do x is obnoxious, rude and offensive.
- Communication works best by making people think about issures, not by making them agree with you!
If no one should be forced to listen then how can we approach the issue of communcation? Going up to someone in the street and telling them they can be saved through Jesus then walking off would not really achieve much more than a few weird looks and mumblings about Christain freaks... (in most cases!)
But we dont need to do this. We have our lives and the way we live them as an example for us. If we live as Christians we do live differently, there is no avoiding it... and people do notice will ask and we can explain as best we can. The biggest advertisement any one has for themselves is the way they live their lives. There is a big difference between being told you are saved and seeing faith make a difference in someone's life.
There are also many issues today where our faith may affect our beliefs: euthenasia, GM technology, cloning, death penalty, homosexuality, terrorism, spiritualism..... and these are not issues which are ignored and not talked about. There is nothing stopping us talking, and if our faith has influenced our views then that is our valid belief and we have a right to communicate it.
Other points :
- Evangalising Christians.... if someone is Christian then they know the message... there is a phrase "preaching to the converted" !! but it does happen. It doesn't hurt to have the gospel reitterated and repeated, there is always something to learn, but if you are talking to Christians then talk about growth and developement, or application of faith... not learning to have faith and therefore assuming they have none
- Learning through teaching: we all fall into the trap of assuming we are the teachers and other's are the learners. We all have something to learn from others. That is one of the points of church, so we meet other Christains and can be challenged in our faith as well as reassured and supported. But there is something to be learned from everyone, christian and non christian alike
- Right answers: having the "right answer" is useful... it provides goals, ideals and knowledge of how things stand, however, "right answers" are far away and often unrealistic. Honesty is a better testimony to anyone, something believable, achievable and real.
In short (I WILL DO THIS!) our lives are the example we give of the gospel and salvation we have and our prime method of showing it. Some people's talents direct them to a more public approach... but all have to accept, as God does, people as they are. We can not force others to change and it is wrong to try. But we can know that people are curious and we will never be short of oportunities to discuss what we believe.... and maybe evangalism is not the right word
It is by discussion that we grow... and by discussion that others come to understand.
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE pick holes and comment and criticize.................... really not sure of this line of though and want some feedback so I can think and form a more substantial opinion!
xXx
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04/11/2006
Home and Easter Week
J'ai plus de travail. Ce n'est pas juste! C'est le vacances et je dois faire de travail touts les jours, non! toutes les heures... Mais je ne faire pa ca! (Whoops!) Je suis trop fatigue et je ne veux pas faire ca! Je ne sais pas pourqui je suis ecrire en francais.
Well that was weird. Just as weird as being home. And I really do need to do some work now.... but it's too late. :S I'm not sleeping again. Which is disturbing for two reasons:
1. I REALLY need to sleep... I need the energy for motivation to get my work and music done... and not to collapse under various other majorly irritating pressures....
2. I just got back from something so amazing.... and I want to live off the good that has done me... and instead I am returning to a state of insomnia.... :S
Ahhh well.... soon I shall have caffeine again and all will be well - PLEASE dont take me serioiusly
ButButButButButButButButButButButButButButBut.....
I got the pattern for my dress today :D:D here and Mum brought me back some gorgeous wool - for lack of better term - fro, scotland... John Lewis is selling now :P 0883 is the colour! Mail me if you are here on Sunday Anne and I'll bring some... otherwise... whenever
I havn't actually got that much work to do:
- Revision: meh.... yeah I do need to and will do some! but it can wait for a week
- French: exam in 2 weeks which i can get low A* if I adlib.... but I should really do some sort of prep.... easy and basic though so not a problem
- Music: I have 2 exams coming up - and some AMAZING songs for singing (SunriseSunset from Fiddler on the Roof!).... plus I'm playing a service in 2 weeks... plus I had a lot of stamina to build up for oboe :S... fun!
- Dress.... 2 months to make 1 ball dress..... At least I can make a start now :P
Oooh... yeah... anyone read Eclesiastes.... it is VERY weird... I read it through in an evening... now going back and trying to work it out without much luck... Unless I take it at face value in which case the message is "life is pointless... nothing has any value... therefore live to enjoy and nothing more...." which seems contradictory in its own right :S The ramblings of wise people seldom make sense to anyone but themselves :P But I shall keep trying... and if I get to depressed I can flick back to the end of proverbs.... :P
Not quite sure what I'm doing for the rest of the week... but I need to attempt to get some sleep or tomorrow will end up being even worse than today... I might not even manage to get up! If I pack a bag now it might be more of an incentive to go out and get some work *done*! I might try that... I am getting so sick of being indoors again :( particularly with the nice weather coming back.... so I can go out all day :D:D
ok... bibi for good for now :P
xXx
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01/23/2006
Musings on Sunday Sermon..... "Teaching - A solid Foundation?"
This is a set of musings based on the sermon Dave Morris gave last night :P as in title.... - We are doing a series looking at the scripute available to the first Christians, and how they applied it to themselves (Bible - letters) and this is the last on the first 3 weeks on teaching.
Matthew 7:15-29 - the end of the sermon on the mount, Jesus teaches about The Tree and its Fruit and building on a Solid Foundation (The Parable of the Wise Man)
The parable of the wise man is one that I have heard from birth, one I think we all have heard from birth, and i reckon that many people even who are not Christians could recite it and tell you about it, and tell us about the different possible interpretations the carious ministers who came into their primary school assemblies gave to them! I can certainaly parrot about 3 ways of looking at this.... so i assumed when we had the reading that we would be lookign at the first half. How to tell false from true and how it is through the obeydiance of Jesus' teaching, not the knowledge, that we are saved - "even the devil believes in GOD" (a little cliche, but very true).
But yesterday was a strong reminder that we are never too old to listen again, or to learn something new from the same piece of text - thats why the bible is so wonderful.... We actually looked at the parable itself and only very briefly at the initial section as an example of putting the parable into practise. Shows what I know.
Verses 24/25 and 26/27 are almost identical (I had never noticed that before).
24"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house.... 26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house....
These two men were in exactly the same circumstance... they both faced the problems with the weather - as you would in Israel in the rainy season - and they both had to build suitable shelter for the storms. Both were also aware of the weather conditions. One managed and the other didn't. The physical reason why one man's house fall down is that sand does not provide a good foundation - in fact it's probably second only to no foundation. But the reason given by Jesus is the wise man "put into practise" his teaching. - Remember this is coming at the end of the sermon on the mount.
By this time in the sermon on the mount, Jesus has covered every single hot topic - divorce, adultery, money, anger, judging, promises, revenge, charity, prayer, love..... i don't think abortion was so much top of the list then (but look at Psalm 139: 13-16).... these are practical teachings on how to cope with the everyday, and also unusual, circumstance we will face no matter what.
The weather conditions have been likened (by a very good preacher sometime in the past whoes name I forget!:( ) to 3 sets of circumstances that everyone will face
Rain: the commonplace difficulties which happen from time to time and can often be expected (rainy season)
- eg. loosing a job, failing an exam
Flood: the severe, usual circumstances which (hopefully) occur infrequently but do, and are expected to, happen
- eg. loss of loved one, knowledge of serious disease
Wind: the things that trouble us daily we must individually learn to deal with
- eg. doubt, jealousy, lonliness
Everyone faces these problems during their lives, just like both men expected the storms, and everyone needs to build up a shelter and support against them so they are not overwhelmed. We know the teachings of Jesus... but the foundations come with those who put them into practise... knowing is never the same as doing.
Jesus taught with authority... because he has it. He spoke with the authority of one who knows - "you may have heard... but I say".... not like the Prophets "thus says the Lord" or the scribes "so and so said...". Jesus say's "I". He has the authority from God. He has given this long sermon to many people of all ages and circumstances giving them practical advice for dealing with events in their lives. Then he tells this parable. It is only those who actually accept the authority of Jesus, follow his teaching and obey who will reap the benefit of even having the help in the first place.
So is teaching a firm foundation. Well it is the obeydiance and acceptance which actually save us. But for that to happen we must first know the teachings to start with. Acts 4 says the first disciples "devoted themselves to the teachings of Apostles" who were talking of Jesus and tell of his deeds and words.
We must learn, and study and listen, but that in itself is not enough - as I said at the beginning, anyone can parrot off a story and an interpretation - we must act on what we know and not let it just become an ideal which we just assume is there and forget about.
*******
That actually ended up being a fairly even mixture of thoughts and the sermon itself :P lol.... it certainaly made me think. And biblegateway is the best site ever! (!)
Ah well... not done music copy-up.... I got registration stilll.... now I need to get ready for school... and I have... umm 8 minutes... this could be interesting.
xXx
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12/12/2005
Strenght for Today and Bright hope for tomorrow
Im ill..... ruddy chest infections. My nose is running (cold remnants) I'm caughing constantly... my throat is a raging inferno and I can not pitch to save my life - very embarassing. We have concerts on Wednesday, Thur, Sunday, Tues Thur!!!!! Then Christmas. Im stumped.
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MR BULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrrr..... Apparently,
Mr Vermaak: "I make all the rules for RM (woodwork) and you've got to Feb"
ME: "In your face Mr Bull!" (*silently*)
I need to get Mr Vermaak a REALLY Nice pressie somehow.
Score:::: Ruth:2 (also one for not being outright rude to him)
Mr Bull:0
So I can now relax slightly and actually stop panicking. Doesn't stop his class being my worst. Just so much stress. The moment he walks out there is a massive shouting mathc against him.everyone hates him. No kidding. and he spends all his time doing Adams work for him and never helps anyone else. He is just so patronising and arrogant. And a complete pervert. Seriously being the only girl in his class boarders on abuse!!! It's not fair. (Laura doesn't count, she's a complete chav and skives anyway) I MUST remember to wear a jumper over my long sleved high necked top next time!!!! (own clothes day) ugh its sick! Anyway I think that is enough ranting for now. hee.
There were testimonies at church on Sunday (evening) and Geoff did one. He is amazing. And well... I dunno... his life being completely entwined with music (lucky man) he used the words from great is thy faithfullness (see title) and I can't get them out fo my head. Really nice set of things. Then Jane did talk afterwards and she was just inspirational. It was so cool. The cakes were too apparently but I didnt have any - sick. They both are inspirational and also so human. It's really Awesome!
Jim is meant to be phoning me sometime this week.... I wonder if he remembers. lol. ahh well I need to go see him anyway to give him money for the ball. lol. So then might well be it. Ugh hate talking so irritating. But nice that he asked on Sunday, I hate taking first step....
Anyway... really must go do some DT.
xxxx
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11/17/2005
Of Open Evenings, Illness, Health and Random! : P
I AM BETTER!!!! FOR THE FIRST IN ABOUT A TERM AND I ALSO FEEL BETTER.... relaxed, confident, happy... so yeyness all round. It's not the wow quick happy either... its the things may be utterly crap at times but its not everything, and wherever you get to there is another way to go... hope... sort of happy. Which is... well lovely... not used to it but love it!!
Anyway... hope this mood lasts for tomorrow so Michael can be impressed!
For the first time with her (according to my teacher) I have done myself justice with my maths exam. Which I think is not strictly true because I did well last summer. But this year 92% in statistics (dropped 5 marks overall - and for concepts I hadn't grasped so yey!). Maths over all 76% which is good gettting into the upper quartile of results - second bets in the year but so what. Dropped loads of marks (12!!) in the second probablilty section on one paper, mind block. But I think my teacher made as many mistakes marking the paper as I did in the thing!! This lesson She added me 3 marks she'd missed - or not bothered to mark because I used a differen't method to her and she couldn't be bothered to read through it. Ah well she's human.
English not so good... but then I didn't bother to time myself in relation to marks available - and I can't write newspaper articles without knowing what they actually want + I didn't actually choose an audience which was STUPID. Got A* A+ A+ which averages at A*-. Silly English Mark Scheme.
(had mocks last week)
Music not so impressive - top group of marks but I dropped silly ones. In fact all round some revision might be advisable for next summer as opposed to bus the day before or none. Oops Thing is, revising things I don't need to means I just forget it and get board and I have a photographic memory so it really doesn't take me long. Revision stresses me out and to be honest - if I can remember all the parts of the respiratory system over 4 years without any revision or even learning to start with... I think (to SOME extent) I can rely on first principles and being calm and remember random fact from which I can draw analogies. Once I've learnt something I remember it, so needless revision makes me scared and means I am more likely to forget things.... On the other hand (e.g. Chem exam today which was EVIL) if I haven't learnt the stuff I really need to... but again it doesn't take long, like all the chemisty ion tests, gas tests, soluble/insoluble, water purification I learnt in one evening!! Granted it wasn't as close to my fingertips as I'd like but it was there... and next time I need the information I will be 100% fine.
Ooooh yeah... about the exams today. You know with optical mark readers you usuallly mark with a line... well now we have to COLOUR IN CIRCLES... do the examiners have any idea how long that takes! and spending 5 minutes of a 20 minute exam colouring in is stupid. I think. I didn't actually finish the chem test... usually tests take about 10 minutes, but as I said I wasn't as hot on the topic as I would like... but today I took it slowly and checked as I went and then ran out of time to copy the answers out!!! and then had to guess the question I missed out. ugh... think I may have done ok though so... we'll see.
Leys Auditions: Really good. Really great set of people who I got on with very well. Music was ACE! Went really well... and academic went ok... particularly biology which I scored very highly in both their written and verbal tests. Chemistry I think I Ok written, and very well in verbal tests - collision theory and bonding :D I can do those :P. Maths I did pretty bang on average in the written test (we compared all our answers... mostly out of the exam itself :P - - some peole sat the same exam after others... they had to keep reminding us we were in competition! :P lmao). The verbal maths test I'm not so sure... I'm only just beginning to regain coinfidense in Maths, and whilst I understood what he was saying, manipulating algebraic indicies in that way I have never done before and when he gave it to me I didn't have enough time to think to sort things out.... :'( but I did know all the basics so umm...
Headmasters interview went well... said I liked Cole Porter (he is so good!) who is one of the Head's favourite composers :P COMPLETE Accident honest! and the two general papers went Ok... they weren't that bad really: the maths was just putting numbers in in the right way, percentages, savings in phone tarrifs and the English/Ethics was simply arguing points - or against them.
So that was kool... and still love the place. :D
Hills Road: I'm really dissapointed with this... because I know it's a better school! :'( but it came across so badly on it's open evening. I think the best way to describe the atmosphere that night would be lifeless... no one (teahcers or pupils) seemed enthusiastic about their subject or school, very few smiles, and very few activities available to promote conversation between visitors and people there. The displays were patronising and aimed at GCSE students not potential A-Level Candidates... so whilst they said work would be difficult there was NO evidense that this was the case... quite contrary actually. I just found it really uninspiring... Mind You: I did like the policy of drawing misleading graphs... so it looks like almost all students got A grades... when really only 40% did! LMAO... funniest thing was a 40 year old woman going.... quite seriously... "WOW THOSE RESULTS ARE ASTONISHING... AMAZING!" just over 40% A and a lot of D's. heh. It was a funny evening, so patronizing - mostly in science whichw as jsut showing off fancy equipment without acvtually using it or explaining it's purpose! Drama was excellent... we spent a good 30 minutes watching the Government Inspector, which is brillian anyway... but very well acted too. :D
Anyway... Mum is lookign around Leys on 26th, they I get replies for Scholarship on Dec 1st.
Weird being back at school after 3 dsays off.... total 7 periods (hourse) in school this week. heh. But so good to be better at last.
I am falling in love with Jeremiah... 29:11 :D and all the story connected with it.... and also David Adams meditions. Twas a very long boring time off. lol. But they are good.
Hope week and months continue as have so far.
MUST GO now.
xXx
22:31 Posted in Complete Random Junk! , Faith , Life , School , Thoughts | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this
11/08/2005
UPDATE
Ok probably a bad time for an update so I shall be brief!
Particularly as I just made a point of telling Dave to get some sleep - wouldn't want to feel hypocritial now would we!
Exams: are sooo boring just #### easy and even doing them as slow as possible I have at least 20 mins left/ exam so far - - - I have had six. Am also doing well on no revision, no idea how well but well enough for the school. It's so annoying, if there is one aspect of school I really can not stand it's having nothing to do!!! UGH! and the geog (higher) and DT (foundation (#? dont ask!!)) were just a waste of time! seriously!! "Nitrates from fertilizers run into water supplies and poison wildlife.... Q: what do fertilizers do to soils!!" NO JOKE! It's insulting. And I can't sleep durong the day... can't sleep at night either but that's an entirely different matter... and daydreaming leads on to thinking and thinking is awkward.... so I practise piano on the desk :P. Still get's boring - I don't knw my pieces off by heart.
Got scholarship exams this week... I really do want to get the scholarship! UGH. Had the first part (organ) today and I have no idea at all how well I did... which is HORRIBLE I fluffed a few bits, but it was a completely different oragn to play and I still got through and recovered from fudges - even if I was shacking.... The sight-reading (A methodist hymn) went so well they decided to giv eme something harder - gee thanks, but that wasn't that bad either... so no harm done. But I don't know how well I need to have done or need to do in formal music and academic assesments... and whilst this doesn't affect the effort I put in... it does affect how I feel about the exam after - that is what I was trying to explain earlier Dad. But I think it went ok... the organist and deputy head of music said the organ meeting had been gruelling (right word?) and that the Head of Music had been particularly evil.... I'm just annoyed about the fluffs... I had time to practise I really shouldnt get that flustered.
I DID REMEMBER THE COMPOSERS OF MY PIECES THOUGH
oh and thing to do for Friday - learn a little about the composers of my pieces!!! ugh! lol - flunked that one!
Stats tomorrow - how dull... first set of lessons this week! Conditioning doesn't count... it was fun... and healthy except that I pulled a muscle - didn't stretch out properly afterwards because the bell went... im so stupid. Ah well.
Monday family prayer thing went very well... Heather read us the Christmas Miracle story which I love, even when it's out of season - woodcarver one if anyone knows it - and people came even though they were in a bad mood. YEY. So nice when things work... gives you new faith in life/hope/god.... all three. :P
Should probably attempt sleep now
xXx
Oh yeah... Anne - starting knitting tomorrow I think - if I don't spend the evening doing music practise!
23:29 Posted in Complete Random Junk! , Faith , School | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
10/31/2005
Short! (supposedly)
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
That is a happy thought.... someone mentioned the referance a while ago, and for once I didn't forget it, and am now wishing I looked it up earlier. Longer update will be added later :P, currently writing up stats and there is a chance that it will all be done by a reasonable time i.e. I can at elast have the chance to get enough sleep.
Dissapointed with music, 20/25 but considering that I have never heard it, I spent about 4 hours on it, I only had one supervision, I've never written anything in that genre before, and the state I was in end of last term I suppose it's not that bad.
I just hate the idea that the first time stress/lack of time (I could have sorted the other things if I had had more time/inclination/energy) actually noticably impinges on work it should be in a subject I love such as music. And the fact that I let my work be affected by everything.... which I shouldn't. But good music is difficult to write under stress - emotional stuff may enhance it depending on the mood, but not stress. UGH! Trouble with arts subjects, if you're too tired/ill to care then you can only get so far. And I knew I needed to critically read it through and just couldn't manage it.
Ah well rant over and work coming up.
21:10 Posted in Faith , Music , School | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
10/23/2005
Warning: May contain minor rant
My French teacher is hopeless....! Firstly I would like to set one thing straight I AM FEMALE, that means that any adj or vbs that take genders will have an EXTRA "E" ON THE END! (no exceptions in my work). Secondly if I have written...
"We arrived at the ice rink at 12. It had been a good journey - we talked well together - and I was in a good mood again." (In French)
Maybe ... just maybe ... I might want it to say that.... not
"We arrived at the ice rink at 12. It was a good journey..."
Tiny difference.... but it flows better and I liked the cause and effect part and the good mood continuing after the journey. ... So to compose plus-que-parfait for "etre" (to be) take the inparfait form of "avoir" (to have) and the past participle of "etre" to make avais ete (to acute acents on the e's).... Where is the mistake in that.... ?
She tried to mark my "we were going to go..." wrong IN ENGLISH! but I managed to convince her that I really did not want to write.... we were going... (!!!!!)
Anyway... my "neat" French copy (ignoring the mistakes - can stand using inerasable black ink!) atm has many pencilled in suggestions which I will check officially with her. If she cant be bothered to actually work out what I mean before she marks something wrong then I will use her time to go through and get her to explain why it is illeagal to use plus-parfait in my work! And also get her to check each one of my adj... because I'm not certain I've got them all right... and I'm definitely not certain she's got them right!
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RANT OVER
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Slightly different problem - can anyone suggest a stimulus for my scripted performance....
A satirical, political/environmental play showing the western world as a "beast" and the extreme development on forests destorying the world.... (in brief)
I thought about the simpsons.... but it would be difficult to actually explain so if anyone can suggest anything better I would be very happy.
Both science Homeworks done and revision can easily wait.... I shall finish this (It is an official break), go make some tea... finish the notes for my drama essay and continue searching for a stimulus then bakc to stats I think... or geography if stats gets too complicated - but it shouldnt I know what I'm doing now.
Oh yes
Reunion....
WAS AMAZING as usual... and also as usual its horrid coming back to the real world - but there are a whole load of plans to meet up more often (in Cambs because so many people live here and its easy to get to) and keep in better contact - which I think probably will happen - people need the support. Seriously... if you ask any kestrel/harriers for a list of their top people they trust at least 3/4 of them will be from one of the cruises.
I came third in bowling - second if you ignore people with barriers up! with 100!!!! lol twas so fun... one of the people is sooo scary!!! (im serious) bowling. everytime it feels like the ball is going to hit you instead of go down the lane... and they kept falling over. - sympathy mixed with slight fear. Then upgraded food to pizza which was sooo nice. And brilliant songs - only they tried to do a new worship song which people didn't know....
If anyone is willing to could they pray for a girl who is having a bad time at home at the moment with a sick grandmother/stressed/guilty mother... and also at school with many not so friendly friends. It's horrible going through things like that and I would like her to know the Love of God through all the difficulties.
Also for Arbury Baptist Church for a friend not getting on at church and unable to go to her colleges CU and is getting worried about sorting things out.
Thankyou.
Anyway... probably should restart work.
xXx
15:35 Posted in Faith , Kestrels , School | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
10/05/2005
Long boring and complicated..... :P
Long time no writy..... lol and much has happened - so I shall copy Anne's way of organising layout.
Vagina Monologues: Brilliant... a little crude in places but very very rarely distastfully - yeah I know that sounds like a contradiction but it fitted the story... and it was the tale of one woman and would have suffered a lot to have missed bits out. The stories ranged from a victim of a bosnian rape camp... to a 72 year old woman who was put of relationships of any kind at the age of about 16 because her boyfriend was rude to her... stories of women discovering confidense in themselves and their sexuality, to an all female sex worker... to the wonder of a birth. Parts were a little sick, others horrific, others touching and sad and others simply funny. The overall message seemed to be, "It's your body there is no reason on earth to be ashamed of any part of it." As a piece of drama it was no always design in the best way, and in other places it was slightly obvious that the author was trying to make it a theatrical piece... but it conveyed its message clearly and in an amusing, emotive and memorable way and to be honest, what more can you ask of any performance. I would recomend it to almost everyone I know (you can never recomend one thing for everyone... life's just like that!)
Rennaisance Music: also very good... although I was slightly disappointed with the Tallis 40 part motet they condesed to 16 parts: 1. it only had 16 parts! and 2. they were all tired and 3. they only had one really good top soprano and that made it a little weak. However, some of their other stuff was amazing.... a range of many part motets .... the 11 part one was amazing - 2, 4 part choirs, 2 cantors (baritone) and a 4 part falcetto choir with a top top C which the sop sang beautifully (and amazingly) in tune and with good tone. There was also a beautiful version of the Sanctus sung as a round started by a verger walking around ringing a bell - more a "show" piece but still exquisite. (The pizza before hand was also funny.... we should go out as a music group more often!!! sort of "you had to be there" all evening but for example it *was* (caugh) louis' Birthday, Tom was almost sick because of his ice cream factory (literally overflowing) and the diabetic finished up everyone elses food!)
Lunch with Mum: Went to the small place next to Holy Trinity - very nice :D (and cheap) and the food was luuvely!
Funny thing: Guess who turned up to Greek on Tue.... Michael! (ex boyfriend for those of you not aquainted with my non-existant lovelife!) lolol. didn't really recognise him so I can now boast of having a conversation that went vaguelly like this:
Jasmine: "I think I did a music course with one of the people over there" (ie. new people)
Ruth: "I think I Kissed one of the people over there!"
Jasmine: "you win"
Greek: As you can see I am still doing Greek..... lol, realised day before that it did not, in fact, overlap with orcherstra so it's still on ... Organ has however moved again. lol. Nice having Sarah there, look forward to talking to her more, if her brother ever shuts up.
Atlantic College: funfunfunfun... lots of fun emails to write to admissions officers, principles and bursars! yey! Seriously the information I'm getting so far is really good. For those of you who don't know Atlantic College is one of the 10 World Colleges, IB qualification located in Wales... which I am considering going to. :D That, Hills or Leys... prefer IB though... ah well, see what information comes up.
Statistics Coursework: I now have my stats coursework! OCR! and Edexcel for the Maths exam - whats the point in that, two maths courses and they choose to use different exam boards! Anyway I have that for 2 weeks... silly thing is we have to writre it all on exam paper blah blah blah but we can trake the data home or download it, and then do it all home and simply copy it up in the lesson - How random! - - - - - Dont get me wrong I'm really not complaining.
Becca's Baptism: Becca's Baptism on Sunday, I would love to go, but I've missed so much choir - Mum not Angela having the major problem, but I have missed quite a few rehearsals and it's not really fair, then again it is her baptism... I really don't know....
As you can see, I sort of wrote this over a set of days...... lol, it's been sitting on the tool bar for ages, but hey twas fun. DAY OFF TOMORROW (and PSE yesterday) SO A THREE DAY WEEK!!!!!
Guess what I'm doing...............
.................
.................
WORK!
lol, hope you're all well
xXx
17:10 Posted in Complete Random Junk! , Faith , Life , Music , Theatre , Thoughts | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
09/11/2005
Busy Busy Busy Busy
So much has happened today...
Played most of the morning service - all new except the Eucharist which was interesting seeing as I only found out on Thursday. Ah well, it seemed to work ok and all the fudges were resolved without much difficulty.
Finished enough geography to hand in - basically working on the principle that I don't actually have to put in the stuff he doesn't expect before the final deadline, obviously I would like to so he can comment, but I really don't have to for this deadline.
Mum came home. (nothing really to add to that, she had a brilliant time YEY! Her and Dad are going out again on Wednesday - MORE YEY!!!! finally!)
Had roast dinner.... and pancakes for pudding - well I had them for tea but same principle! :D Niiiice
Really good sermon this evening... which I shall detail another time when I am less tired... but basically looking at the Food Laws in Leviticus 11 and making them interesting and amusing and useful for our lives! Which was quite a feat.
Afterwards, we had a celebration for Jane's birthday which was fun, and a very good chocolate cake :D (courtesy of Carrie, Anna, Jenny I believe) and then a long discussion over plans for revised youth program, which after giving people the chance to think over stuff said at am service produced some very sensible and useful comments, both from team and youth. :D Praying the many ideas can be put together well to create something that will work on a personal level for everyone.
Did miss Bridge, but it was worth it. And Dom's piano composition was amazing - however insulting his comments are. But I've gone on enough for one night and need to actually appear to be going to bed.
So ttfn! :P
xXx
22:10 Posted in Faith , Life , Thoughts | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this