If life were a bowl of cherries...

06/23/2008

And she returns...

...And don't think I didn't hear your groan.

I have finished my 7 days of exams. I have done well in biology and chemistry (I had already written the biology synoptic essay of my own accord for revision - plant reproduction!! :D :D) and I am TERRIFIED about music - but such is the way. Hopefully my more than adequate marks from last year will tide me over. (*crosses fingers*)

I have also been out to dinner, a party and a ball.... Met some really rather interesting and entertaining new people, worked out how to do our song for Cabaret (Wed and Thur this week)... and written the A section of a gig. You shouldn't let me spend hours tuning on a recorder :P gone through every dance form I know from pavanne to sarabande to gig to reel.... :D oh and lots of minuets because they are pretty.

Oh and another song on the train... well beginnings of

Different trains honey, different line
Different trains/ways(?) honey, different mind
You'll go your way
And I'll go mine
You've done you worst
Soon I'll be feeling just fine / now I'm feeling just fine (?)

xXx 

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05/09/2008

On a happier crotchet....

Just finished with the Ladies Baber-Shop choir and WE SOUND GOOD! lmao... we actually do. :D I love taking choirs, particularly when we are singing good music. I don't get the chance that often and though I suppose this choir is technically Sutcliff's baby, its great to have been so involved. 

In the space of 30 minutes we have gone from utterly fudging something to singing it pretty damn well. It didn't take the much either. Just a little bit of breaking things apart and working on lines in pairs. Saying difficult rhythms before we sang them. Working out how parts linked together and where things were either consonant or dissonant. Things I have learnt from countless choir directors over the last decade and a bit (from their successes and mistkaes). Elementary stuff.

Practise. 

The choir just needed a few corners ironing out. Just a few odd notes coorrected and rhythms reheased to precision. Just a little confidense and familiarity. OH and fun! Lots of laughs, lots of jokes... lots of arguments over who was more stunning: The Alto's or Sopranos (The Metzos decided they won hands down anyway). But it is truly wonderful to work with a choir who will be in hysterics and then you count them 4 in and they find their note and start singing! :D  Makes such a difference.

But I am good at it. It is one of the few things I'll admit I am good at. And I love it so much.  

xXx 

PS: Please excuse the appalling pun... it's my blog and I'll write what I like however much it insults the English language.

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04/16/2008

*

I hope you all noticed the footnote in the last post!

Music Ruth ... Well I want it, I don't know if I need it... and not too keen on finding out, just GIVE IT TO ME! :P:

Organ:

Complete Bach!!!! Urtext edition complete with editor/performance notes
Some Buxtehude
Some Lubeck
Widor Tocatta
Carillon de Westminster
Matthias Albumn
Some Messian
Hindeminth - the one Hall plays in Communion
Louis Lefbure-Wely Albumn - MUST include the Sortie in E flat
A selection of Modern Organ Music
Something English and Reformation ish... looking at musical changes maybe :P
The Thunderbirds piece!

Oboe: 

CPE Bach
Britten Metamorphesis - amusement value
Hinderminth Sonata
Albinoni Duet in F - ANY Albinoni Really
Bach - more as technical exercises than anything else, they are pretty as well :P
Weber Concertino
More Grovlez
Gabriel's Oboe

I WANT TO FIND MY COPY OF SAINT SAENS OBOE SONATA! I hate playing from other people's music... it's like playing the finals at Wimbledon with someone else's racket - hypothetically possible, but unpleasent!

Singing:

The WICKED score
Some Brahms - love songs mostly - pwettifull
Elgar, Sea Pictures
Sondheim Collection
B Minor Mass
Stabat Mater
Dixit Dominus
Book of French Romantic Period stuff...
Some Rossini
More Blues, Jazz, Musicals... etc

Piano / Harpsichord:

Shostakovich Preludes and Fugues
Rachmaninov Piano Conertos
Debussy Collection
Goldberg Variations
Complete 48
Schumann / Schubert Piano works  - not played enough, but like the stuff I have
Pour le Piano - Debussy again
Saint Saens! :D
Copeland

 xXx

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04/15/2008

... And another...

I AM feeling communicative today aren't I... :S

Partly because I am at home and so these ramblings end up online instead of just in my notebook or head! 

Partly because I just seem to be in a *musing* sort of mood.

Partly because writing is a wonderful way of procrastinating.

Mostly because I am awake and it is 2:30am!

I dislike coffee... it does strange things to my body... Like making me sick and unable to stomach anything other than water (and only that at a push). It also keeps me awake and conscious which is the obvious advantage to the rather unpleasant reality of ingesting known toxins. 

Has actually been very interesting researching the oboe... wonderful book of my mothers that has a complete analysis of one of the pieces I am playing in my recital. Which reminds me I must get a sick oboe mended tomorrow! :S Very lonely without! I'm curious to see how the research changes the way I play! ... Still trying to find ANYTHING on this mysteriously non-existent Weber Concertino; I am beginning to suspect that it was written for Clarinet first and then altered. I might have to change it to the Schumann Romanzes. I will ask tomorrow... today.

I love research... I rarely get a chance to do any... apparently it is a waste of time with regards to my A Level course - *swears in an obscene and vulgar manner to no one inparticular*

Will let you know how the rest goes.

I shall now finish this episode of Black Books and then true to sleep... and pray my stomach stops complaining

xXx 

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03/20/2008

Home...

Well I'm back. And whilst I got used to the cold up North (took a few hours!), my room is still freezing - it is 04:43 and my heating has been off for 4 days now with no people in the room! Consequently, I am now curled up in my duvet and very warm and snuggly dressing gown (one of my few PINK items of clothing, so to speak) wearing my favourite jumper (red with teddy bears on) and for some reason (unknown) writing a blog post instead of sleeping.

Hey ho - it is what I do.

Went on Uni visits... I'm sure I will talk about this more either here or with people in person.

I LOVED the city of Durham. I am GOING to live there at some point in my life - if only for a year or two. In fact I Love the north generally and would really like to move up there... Cambridge is beautiful... but it is so ... clean-cut? ... compared to Durham. Although I did find the two surprisingly similar in style and aura. 

I did not like the course... or rather, I didn't like the fact that they were ashamed of being academic about music.

Edinburgh City grew on me over the course of the day. At first it was just another city... (despite living in suburbs all my life I am most definitely *not* a city girl.) But over the course of the day I wondered around areas, found green, found little quirky shops that I loved, found a very good pizza place and most important of all found LOTS and LOTS of jazz, folk, salsa, shows, concerts, gigs, ceilidhs and music in general. It wasn't until the end of the day that I saw the sea... and that sealed it for me. I also love Edinburgh... Maybe not so much as Durham (It is still very much a city)... but I could easily love living there!  I will go back and visit again in the summer :D

The course is also fantastic. Academic but with some performing. And the university has a really very impressive collection of concert halls, organs and MANY MANY MANY early instruments :D :D :D :D :D :D :D lol.... I also liked the lecturer and the way the student showing us around was holding a cope of "Music and the Reformation in England" - a brilliant period to study the socio-histoical context of music! 

I am now going to have fun comparing to Cambridge... wish me luck!

*************

It is strange when you give your heart to something... particularly when you've spent so long swearing violently against it. 

I seem to be doing that far too much at the moment; I'm not sure how many hearts I have left. 

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03/13/2008

Storytelling and Bach

Most of us spend our lives telling stories. Whether these stories are worth hearing (or even telling) is a completely different and highly contentious matter. Sometimes the stories we tell are true, often elaborated and exaggerated, rarely completely fictitious but always personal on some level or other. I can never work out if we only ever tell stories that have meaning for us or that the act of telling a story makes it a part of us regardless of any previous emotional involvement. We use stories to teach, to ease social situations, to explain, to pass the time, to amuse, to frighten, to threaten and to comfort. They permeate every aspect of our lives.

But just because we live a life almost dependent on storytelling does not mean we aren't highly selective about the stories we tell. One of the first lessons a child learns at school (if not before) is the necessity to judge an audience and gauge a level of propriety before telling their story. It may take them the rest of their life to acquire this required skill if they manage it all (and most appear not to), but I would argue that the necessity is something that becomes apparent very early in life. 

I suppose that there are countless reasons for keeping a story to yourself. Many reasons which all, at some level or another, boil down to fear. Fear of hurting loved ones, fear of ridicule, fear of repercussions, fear of not being able to tell the story, fear that the story wont be appreciated. So many things can go wrong when we open our mouths. So many things *could* come out. So much damage *could* be done. Speaking is a risk. And yet we continue to tell our stories - judging the reward worth the danger. 

How much is it our need to tell stories that makes us human?

I am listening to the Matthaus-Passion at the moment. I can't decide which I prefer out of this work and the B minor mass. They are both stunning. I love listening to modern music (folk, rock, metal, jazz) that stirs up emotion: determination, anger, pride, sardonic amusement. I love listening to gargantuan romantic symphonies that pick up your soul and carry you somewhere completely other. I love listening to Floyd, Bowie (on occasion), Runrig, Show of Hands, Brahms, Rossini, Rachmaninov, Cage, Messian, Tavener, Stravinski.... I love the feeling of being completely caught up in a performance or composition - the way the audience hold their breathe through the piece whethr it is 5 minutes or 45. {Although I wish they would hold it 5 seconds longer at the end of a movement and wait for the last note to die.} 

There is something slightly different about the Baroque. It still takes you somewhere. But fo me it always seems less pushy or forceful in doing so. There is a cleaness in the part writing that is lost as soon as Beethoven and Wagner arrive. A purity in the harmony that vanishes with the turn of the 19th Century. And yet, there is none of the basic simplicity of the Classical era... none of the twee yet pretty classics that can be so easily summed up with the word "Mozart". There is something so delightful in the mathematical precision of the counterpoint - so many individual layers that tessellate so well. Dissonance that is prepared and resolved without fuss or glamour... 

This music rarely stirs up violent emotion. it does not generally move me to tears or fill me with energy. But I love to listen to it. It calms me I suppose; order and beauty complimenting each other so well. Emotional, yes, but it almost more personal in its understatement (compared to Romantic expression). Whatever has happened that day to anger or hurt me, I can (if I think of it) put on the Trio Sonatas, Pergolesi Stabat Mater, Mattheus-Passion, Allegri, a Byrd mass... and my heartbeat with regulate itself, my breathing fall in sync with the pulse of the music. And I sit and listen. Immerse myself. And after a few minutes - 3, 5, 30, 90? - I get up and continue with the day, my thoughts clearer and my emotions less clouded. 

xXx 

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03/06/2008

A Post of Happy Things

• I have chosen my first option for University. I will accept the place at Girton, Cambridge. The decision has taken a while - even though I knew what it would be in the end (confusing eh?), but I needed to be sure that I was happy with it and I am. I loved the college the first time I saw it, the course is brilliant and opportunities to play are just silly really. But I have to say what clinched it was having access to The Round, The Reels Society... and all the other opportunities for dance. Oh, and the Library!!!! :P (But that is fa too geeky to write here :P)

• I have filled out the Sidmouth Stewarding Application form for Sidmouth. I will be attending, I will be camping, I will be dancing in the street in my bare bare feet (to coin a phrase) and in the ford, and in the sea, and around the Ham... I will be attending breakfast and cream tea workshops with rigorous regularity and I WILL BE HAVING FUN!

• I have almost finished sorting out all the paperwork that has ended up at school.... Not actually done much with it yet, but it is all in neat piles all over my bed - might sleep on the floor today :P

• I passed both timed swims. The air may have tasted of acidic smoke, I may have caughed all night, I may have been cold, I may have had a headache... but I PASSED THE TIMED SWIMS!!! I *Can* do it... and I am happy.

• I played the Albinoni Oboe duet with Chi yesterday - she playec flute :P It was so much fun. There is little better than playing with someone, particularly when that person actually wants to pkay and make music with you and so does communicate and put emotion into her playing. We'll learn it and see if we can get it recorded. :D Was great fun. Need to find some more now. Maybe one that is writted for oboe and flute.
  

• Got training program for the gym. Got to love Alex. He is so lovely. Anyway, been meaning to for ages - otherwise I just go along and run for far too long and then go home again. So getting a program working mostly on strength and flexibility (sailing and dancing). One hour core muslces, which is my favourite one because, even though it doesn't build up much of a sweat, you really feel like you've done something afterwards. Then another set of weights and funness and then one cardio and endurance set. 'Tis all good fun. :D But it is also very good to know what you are doing to your body when you exercise, how you might damage it and also how you can put it right again.
  

• It was sunny yesterday. However much I rant about my school,the capus is stunning on occasion (depends a lot on light levels). But at the moment the entrie deerpark is drowned in yellow daffodils or tiny blue flowers that I don't know the name of. Next time it is that lovely I shall go for a walk by the river - I've missed it this winter.

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02/08/2008

My life in lyrics - Prizzes if you guess all the songs

"A touch of concealer beneath the eyes, a stroke of mascara gives a look of surprise"

"She likes to wake up in the morning and just fake it"

"So if you're thinking of leaving one boot out the door - it looks more like leaving to me"

"Bye Bye my old friend, never gonna see my face again"

 "It's only forever, not long at all"

"Farewell friends, I hear the call, the ships beside the stony wall" 

"I must go down to the seas again,
to the vagrant gypsy life,"

"I wouldn't have to answer for the promises I broke, like the president today when he drank and snorted coke."

"We hurt the ones we love the most. (It's a subtle form of compliment)"

"Love is a curious thing, butterfly's fragile wing"

"The father's song, the father's love, he sang it over me, and forever... it is written on my heart"

"Love to the loveless shown,
That they might lovely be.
O who am I, that for my sake
My Lord should take, frail flesh and die?"

"I'm flying high, defying gravity"

"Cause you are the wind beneath my wings" 

"A champagne supernova in the sky"

"And nothing's gonna hold me back" 

"And if it seems too much like happy ever after... maybe it will be, for a little while"

xXx 

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09/19/2007

News and literature

After a protracted period of silence I feel strongly persuaded to present you with a plethora of progessions in my otherwise pedestrain life. :P (I realised after the second p that I could have some fun with this sentance and I will once again use the time-old excuse... its MY blog!)

Anyway... to those of you who do not already know, I am doing music at Uni!!  :D And over the moon. Seriously, my cheecks are complaining because I am grinning to much. Not only do I now have time to do the things I wish to do (like practise, or read, or draw or listen), but no! This is encouraged in me. Active development of skills outside the classroom is encouraged and praised. No longer do I have to feel guilty for practising for more than the allotted 45 minutes. I am free! And it is wonderful. 

And as for my degree... I can't wait. 

Along with this I have given up Further maths. This is a less joy-bringing development, I do enjoy maths and will be sorry so see it go (despite the extreme hang-hold it had on my time). However, I do not enjoy - and neither am I good at - so that is less of a loss. And as I need the time, am not certain of an A, and do not enjoy the course I woulkd have to take it seemed like the logical conclusion. I will pick maths up again when I have time and inclination (If this means never I will be dissapointed, but so be it). 

Music itself is going well. I still need to order reeds from Howarths, so that will happen tomorrow. Started playing piano again - a glorious piece of Schumann! Which I will do in a concert sometime. Might pester one of the teachers to give me playing advice, but it seems fairly self-explanitory. Organ is organ. Some brilliant hymns, and even better volentaries. The head decided to announce my scholarship in assembly, I don't know how I feel about that.  :S  oh... and how do I tell the difference between Sibeleus and Wagner? ("Sounds like toffee pudding" applies to both!)

Went to the English Society last night. Which I have a strange feeling I enjoyed more than the English Students there. The talk was basically on "what is literature" and the perspective was that literature is a piece of writing that intrinsically serves no purpose and that now (with the rise in consumerisation) we no longer have literature as all written word is a comodity. Here I must disagree with a several issues:

• Publised books have always been a comodity; nowadays that comodity is accecisble to all instead of just the wealthy.
• If literature serves no purpose then there can be no literature written in the past as all historical literature gives us significant insight into that culture and how social states functioned during that period. Literature also allows us to develop our understanding of people and how people see things - it is in essence one persons view on a scenario be it imaginary or the combination of a series of events theyhave experienced.
• All writing has a purpose as it is written (perhapse not conciously so). People write what they feel, how they think, what polotics they support and abhor, the qualities they admire or distain - all these factors come across through good literature as the author (in part) tries to communicate and promote their own beliefs. Few people positively advertise that which they dislike.
• True, part of the beauty of literature is that is is based in fantasy and does not point to specific instances in time and tangible objects or events (and in this sense it is nothingness and "useless") but this does not mean it serves no purpose. If we limit purpose to the epirical then we limit all sense of culture/unity/emotion/faith/belief and also all sense of identity and history. We can not bring out our sense of beloninging (to a family or a group) as an object to see when it is discussed (Guliver's Travels - the philosophers) and neither can we identify a specific purpose for literatue that is ubiquitous. This does not mean one does not exist.
• The moment we try to define literature, to categorise it, to class it and treat it as something which can be contained and measured then we loose sight of so much, you cannot qualify the emotive and the beautiful. Why is something beautiful? Because it fulfills the golden ratio? Or because we take pleasure in it? Because the colours do not comflict? Or because it reminds us of a time we were happy?
  

Sorry, that was an incredibly badly constructed set of arguments/thoughts. My head is still reeling slightly as it was a very in depth talk. You will not be surprised to hear that I said nothing during the questions time!

Anyway, I should go do something productive (shocking isn't it!)... probably organ! But there is another character pending in office blog... so I think I shall post another episode of that, hopefully a little more amusing than the last.

xXx 

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08/26/2007

Of Organ and Middle Class England

I played my first service at Harlton today. For those of you who did not know, I am now the Organ Scholar there and therefore required to put in a friendly appearance from time to time. :) It actually went quite well, which was good, and all in all I found the visit entirely amusing. ((By the way, this is being written as an occupation whilst I print out some pictures for Steve... so it might end rather abruptly)).

There is nothing better than a long cycle ride, along (fast country) roads, that you have never cycled along, to a place you have never visited (or even heard of until 6 weeks ago), early in the morning.... when you have had a sum total of3 hours of sleep. Of course, the scenario was jsut improved by the fact that I was going to be playing, my eyes hurt (pollen) and I had done no exercise for 4 days so my leg muscles started to hurt about a mile through Granchester. Oh yes, did I mention I went the long way around!   

Anyway, let mecease complaining, and detail the conversation I had with the church warden when I arrive.

 *****

Ruth enters church slowly with considerable apprehension. Jean is dressed formally and attending to some hymn books on one of the pews. Jean looks up unnerved and both smile awkwardly until recognition dawns on Jeans face.

JEAN: Hello?  

RUTH: Hello

JEAN: You're Ruth, Pleased to meet you She hurries forward extending her hand and a firm handshake is exchanged.

RUTH: And you.

JEAN: So you are here to play for us, that is lovely. 

RUTH: Yes, well Leon is playing some of it just to make it easier while I familiarise... [ad lib]

JEAN: Are you an American lady?

Ruth: purplexed No... Pure English

JEAN: Oh, you have a lovely accent.

 *****

Someone please explain that to me.

Anyway, I went, practise, and was interupted no less than 6 times to shake hands with various local dignitaries - all smiling and wearing their Sunday best. Bells start tolling and more people stare at me as I start to play a Waltz tune in F (first hymn) - I was glad I decided to dress smartly for this :). I then get bored... and start playing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in 3/4 time which promts more stares and raised eyebrows from Leon, who is now sitting behind me.

The service goes well, although I can't register the pieces as I would like due to unfamiliarity with the (Electirc) organ - my practise time having been somewhat disturbed. The vicar preaches for anarchy. During Communion I Play a very pretty (if I do say so myself) improvisation of "Dear Lord and Father of Mankind") which gets me many compliments and makes me smile. A lot of notices and then Bach's Prelude and Fugue in F Maj from the 8 Short Preludes and Fugues to finish.

Then more hand shaking, smiling and listening attentively to the Treasurer tell me about the old Organ here and how lovely it is to see a new face.... you get the picture. We dutifully file out of the church and Leon, myself and another go to his house where his wife serves us coffee in the garden and sits very quitely whilst we discuss organs and music. Key features of this conversation are: name dropping, the mine is bigger game and "Yes..." - guess which applies to whome. I am now to play the Trio Sonata on Oct 13th for a celebration concert of the New organ - in whatever state it has reached by then.

It will be a lovely instrument, but I shall detail its many virtues when it is finished.

So all in all it was a pleasent morning, I played more than tolerably well (for once). The people as all very kind and friendly and so "Small, rural, affluent, pituresque village in East Anglia"!!!! It's brilliant.

Oh and yes, for those who were wondering... the vicar did preach calling for anarchy and a disregard for rules in favour of what God say in your heart. (!) I had to bite my lip to stop myself from giggling aloud all the way through. I mean, that sort of sermon does no harm in such a village, it might persuade people to forgo moviing their front lawn one Saturday so they can visit a friend... But even so, country Rector preaching *for* ANARCHY!

I love it

On another note: Stupid things I have done today:

• Forgot my keys -  but I did get the chance to visit our next door neighbours who (on account of their holiday, my boarding and then our holiday) I have not seen for 6 months or so! :(
• Put salt in my desert.... though it was sugar/vanilla sprinkles!
• Started shaking before the evening service which didn't help the whole playing thing - I DETEST evensong.
• Had a conversation I probably should have avoided (for sanities sake) but can't change that... and it was inevitable
• Not packed...
• Not finished printing these photos...
• Not finished sorting my room

Oh well.

Best get on

xXx 

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Beauty need only be a whisper

02:09 Posted in Music | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

03/22/2007

Happy

Makes a change....

Tonight I:

• Watched my little sister take responsability for her actions and (for once) decide to do something she didn't want to do, over something she did - she's no idea how proud I am of her.
• Watched my other less little sister play one AWESOME xylophone piece (and I heard her practising) and part of one of the best percussion ensembles I have heard in a long time.
• Worked out a "project" for next term... more later maybe, not keen on saying until it gets off the ground
• Saw Basil and Katie and Sophie and Jenny AGAIN :D and laughed... and joked... and talked old times (DT with Basil :P). You forget how much you miss people... and just how good some friends are. Just have to hold onto people like that because they don't come around often... teehee
• Arranged to meet up with various people next week.
• And my boyfriend said he'd be there to meet me afterwards even though I wasn't sure I'd be back. :D :D :D :D Actually made my day, however sad that is... and the fact that he didn't turn up is almost irelevent.

• And most importantly went to a concert that finally reminded me why I chose to do music A level, what I love so much about the subject, what is so amazing about it if PEOPLE ONLY PUT A LITTLE BIT OF LIFE INTO IT. The program was excellent, high quality all round with one exception, and particular mention due to the Madriguys (4 part BarberShop) Madrigals as ever, Junior choir and the Percussion Group.

Came back grinning ... and singing ...

Goonight

xXx

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10/14/2006

Chapel Centenary et. al.

I've just realised how long it's been since I last updated....

So in brief (I have tennis in a very short time):

•  I am coming to the end of my run of concerts: leading 2 services (not concert, but same quantity of work), one soiree (which went well but i played too fast so *I* know I got a load wrong even if everyone else said it was amazing), one orchestra concert - Mozart Basoon concerto whichw as awesome! :D and now various organ things for the Chapel Centenary at school - including a half hour slot playing in ummm nearly an hour! :S :S

• It's the Chapel Centerary at school so muchos celibrations... and the dedication of a processional cross which is rather odd considering it is a Methodist Church. But we are singing Parry "I was glad" and an AMAZINGAWESOMEFANTASTIC version of "Praise My Soul" complete with full Brass fanfare (pity they can't as yet play in tune).... anyway, tis fun. Also doing "Locus Iste" which is always nice.

• I am *STILL* bored out of my mind in all subjects. :'( but am now being made to do other stuff (game theroy in maths and Feynman lectures to fill out science - was decided that A level Chemistry would be a waste of time) instead of doodling and writing poetry.

• My midterm grades were straight As and mostly 1's for effort (DONT ASK HOW - I should have got 4's as I have done nothing this term) one 2 (pure maths, probably more deserved than the other 1's) and a 3 - Dr Addamson has been on Jury duty and not taught us this term....

Hoping to get some science work to do in lessons to..... tis very annoying only haveing 8 hours I can spend in a vaguelly interesting and productive manner - MUSIC PRACTISE! :P

Anyway. Nearly half term - break up on the Thursday next week. 6th from festival (culture!) this week which is good because = less prep...but i shall update on those later. anyway. tennis now

 xXx

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09/26/2006

Aims...

Several new developments to musial aims:

• 3+ Grade 8 disctiction by the end of A2
• Learn folkfiddle at some point
  
• Finished learning guitar
• Learn good pedal and harpsichod technique
• Learn figured bass :D
• Learn *all* of Trio Sonata 1
• Learn Goldberg Variations (prettyness)
• Find some way at some point to sing
  
  • Bach B minor Mass
  • Tallis 40 Part Motet

Wasn't it Anne saying something about being over ambitious! :P

We are not a fixed race. We have no constant form or presence in this world. We disintergrate slowly as time makes his careful way down the road. Piece fall off and little by little we are reduced. It is what we loose that creates us. What has been removed tells the story of out lives. Each fragment speaks his own story of the events that shaped us - memories of what was. We gain nothing by trying to re-glue pieces the stone-mason has chiselled out. Time and experiance are his tools, they do not stop their work.

xXx 

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08/23/2006

Misc

"You are just a sweet person. When a friend needs a shoulder to cry on, you are happy to offer yours with a box of tissues as well. Once in awhile, you wish you could be a little more dramatic but then sensibility sets back in and you know that you are perfect the way you are."

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

heh these things are always highly enlightening. Learn things I never knew about myself :P

oh well... ummm, no big updates on Soul Survivor yet (sorry to those were perstering me!) I've made myself ill and am decidedly not in the mood to think and create meaningful comments... so tough

Away to Towesey with friends (Chadwicks) which will be awesome.... 5 days of music and dance and really nice clothes available!!  :D hehe! Nah will be good, little sleep and ca,ping again but I've never really objected to either of those 2 things. Hope I get better quickly though otherwise I will not be amazing compnay, and I don't want to make all of my partners sick or there will be no one else to dance with. Plus I'm sure its not that appealling dancing with a girl who keeps tripping up over her toes because she is feeling too groggy to concentrate - particularly in Polka.

Argh.... on that note, why when you say you cna dance do people *assume* you can lead! I am female I never lead waltz or Polka (always seem to find a partner :S which drives Em nuts!) so please don't expect me to be able to dance the male part and get it right - incidentally, the fact that I can dance Celidh and Scottish both ways is UTTERLY irrelevant as they dont involve chaging hand positions, or having to lead.

Anyway, rant over (and much better for it thank you), this weekend should be amazing, and ther are some good bands playing :D not that I can remember who, blue murder I think are there, and Eliza Carthy.... and some Australian band or some sort :S oh well I'll look at the program sometime.

Results tomorrow.... could be interesting.... (anyone who is feeling particularly vunerable over exam results stop reading now, I am *not* going to change what I write for your sake).... I'll settle with As in everything, just would like to get A* and it would be depressing to miss predicted grades just because in everything else I've always beaten predicted grades. I did get a form from connections through, they asked for all my grades once I know them, but havn't left enough space which was amusing.

Why do you never get news you don't want in little chunks. It always comes all at once on the same day just one thing on top of another. Then you just have to ignore it all and find som way to somehow let one thing out at a time so you can actually deal with it instead of being swamped. Or you bury stuff, let it grow, and *then* become swamped and overwhelmed. Neither way is particularly good (the first option being imposible and the second making you look pathetic  and both hurting you).

I'm sounding terribly optamistic here aren't I? Oh well, I'm sure you'll all live.

Isn't it strange how, in perception 1 mile becomes 10 and 100 miles becomes a 1000 untl the shortest distance becomes an unbeatable barrier. The more you want something the greater the struggle to attain it. Absense does not make the heart grow fonder, absense makes the heart grow stronger as we take each day and make another effort to do without the people we wish we could be with, the friends who carried us through the worst. They say time heals all wounds, and maybe eternity would see these scars would fade, but until then I stand, seeing the road extend before me unable to move and unable to stay.

xXx

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08/04/2006

News of the World of Ruth

I am waging war again... well not strictly again, more just opening up a campaign on yet another front. The running total is now:

1. Men who whistle/honk horns/shout/leer at me, when I am either on or off my bike
2. BUGS! - of the living variety with multiple cells, although none of the other possabilities make desirable substitutes
3. People who are UNABLE to put a cup in the dishwasher instead of leaving it on the side ABOVE the appliance instead
4. my skirt which seems to have decided that gravity should apply to it!

Now what was it my teacher was saying... something about not spreading myself too thinly... :S

Survived doctors... I think. Not keeled over yet :D. another appointment when I'm back from SoulSurvivor - 3 weeks time. *groans and complains for far too long to write here!* 

French Kiss

An stunning film. Romance and feel good genre but abosolutely hilareous. Some classic lines. I unfortunatley could not find the subtitles button (and when I did I realised they had subtitled the English too :( ) so I watched the film in a mixture of French and English which was rather too strenuous for the end of the day. Oh well, it is a credit to the acting (not my stunning *caugh* linguistic skills) that I manged to keep track of the plot and laugh at the jokes.

 Particular features for recomendation include the general comedy value and the slightly sickening yet amazingly cute and "perfect" fairytale ending. As well as some gorgeous shots of Southern France and a generally well composed set and costume design making it a very enjoyable film to just watch. Not quite as aesthetically stimulating as Amelie or Hero, more comparable to Chocolat.... oh yes.... and it's a partly French film which is always a plus making the language exquisite!

**************** 

Time managment: one of my many interesting skills. I am actually managing to fill my time quite well. Waking up reasonably early and getting Kitchen sorted, making a drink and doing piano... then other music and a combination of cooking, cleaning, tidying and basketball/netball/chucking balls against the wall of the house. Then msn, films and some reading in the evening.It's good. I have an amazing capacity to become bored and the consequences of that are not pleasent - involves thinking! enough said.

Anyway, only one more week free then I'm off again, back for a few days, off, back for a few days, off, then school/college... Do you reckon I can manage another week? (feel free to start/join a sweepstake - I'm going that I can make it till Wednesday)

Went shopping the other day which actually went well :D got some really nice clothes and had a surprisingly pleasent time... :D got trousers, shirts, jumpers and a lovely skirt (the one with the aversion to gravity) and a black top which I am actually surprised Mum let me buy.... hmmm.... that was funny! Not that she could actually have done something, butI would have expected her to comment. Oh well. Show's how much I know - or how old I was last time i went shopping with her. :S 

My sister made a delicious chicken pie for dinner... well I re-rolled the pastry because I could see through it :S.... but she made everything else and very good it was too so Thank you Emma!

Tired of giving random news now... will go and find something else to occupy myself with....

Cya

xXx 

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06/09/2006

Update and writing!

Firstly!!!

SHE GOT IN !!!!! (we entered our music teahder for the Classic FM Music Teacher of the year awards! And she made the Finals!) Please vote for her http://www.classicfm.com/index.cfm?nodeId=5699&sw=1024 because she is amazing and has made a difference to so many people in our year let alone the school over her time teaching and if anyone deserves it it's her for her dedication and ability to put so much into one single hours teaching not to mention the rediculous overtime! 

:D

(I wonder if she knows it was us :S - well Tom K/jenny/jo organised it.. but so many people wrote the referances!)

 There was something else I wanted to say... FOOTBALL AT CHURCH TOMORROW - watching on big screen and chatting! lol... well we will be. oh and

I GOT PAID! !! !!! !!!!  :D no longer A: in debt or B: unable to pay deposit for Soul Survivor or Sizewell...

20:45 Posted in Complete Random Junk! , Life , Music , Thoughts | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this

05/22/2006

Music exams soon - School update

So here I am... 40 minutes before myu music exam... in the library... it as actually quite nice now :P very blue (jenny say's it's green) ... and comfy chairs!! heehee.... done some revision... had a singing lesson! :D don't need to buy Panis Angelicus now because lucie is doing it so I am doing Veini Veini :D

Got English tomorrow and meeting up with Phil in the afternoon which should be fun. Literature.... Mice and Men, Inspector Calls and pre 1900 War Poetry ---- Very cheery!

Still need to do more dress... will revise English before I go home and then Greek and DT tonight..... ugh... DT is so irritating. I will go through the teaching spec. then I will just leave it if it is too difficult or look it up if it is small................... I know enough to get through the exam. (*crosses fingers*) Don't really care that much.... not got the energy or the time to worry over an exam where I will get an good/ok grade anyway, I wasn't taught half the material and I will not need again. (If I can't do something I *need* to then I shall look it up!

ahhh well... I feel food and last minute cramming is in order:

looping, sampling, cutting/splicing, speed up/slowdown, distorting, reverb, ring modulator, panning (Recorded sound - Music Concret)

Drum machine, synthesiser, sythersised strings, MIDI (dont ask!), panning, flanger, vocorder, reverb, collage, sequencer (puts layers together)

DJ, scratching, Dubbing, rap

Guess what I find the difficult parts!

xXx

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01/22/2006

Meh...

Time I went to bed: 10.30

Time I went to sleep: before 11

First time I work up: 3.15

Second time I woke up: 4.30

Third time i woke up: 5.45

Time I got out of bed: 6

ARGH!!!!!!!!

I now dont know which I prefer.... going to bed at say 12/1 and waking up between 7 and 8... or going to bed early and waking up repeatedly.... but feeling refreshed when I get up! Both are an improvement.... ie. I am sleeping and it seems to be having an effect :P. Mind you.... I like mornings and I dont mind being the only one awake in the middle of the night... it just gets annoying when I actually have nothing to do - music / DT are a little impossible.

I've started my music composition! yeyeyey!! and after 7 (give or take) hours sleep I still like it! - and that when its played sans emotion (noteworthy) and with a really bad soundcard.... too early to wake siblings/parents up with piano - have a horrid day! But I will have a problem fitting it into the catorgories... I have a feeling it will end up being a piano sonata! Which I could force into rondo or ternary form.... ie. with extentions. Its really weird though.... very slow 6/8, cross between romantic slushyness and modern dischordance. The next sections going to be so fun though... tune in the base and then VERY fast chords in the right hand... moving up and down in semi/demisemi quavers! but with repeated notes on the thumb so it will actually be three parts. Not that I can play it lmao!

DT UPDATE: I have started gluing.... and polishing and generally finishing off... and it is actually working!!! :D:D

Been reading Ruth.... well started reading Ruth... break from Jeremiah :P.... but its kinda interesting re-reading it after so long. I'm organising a Kestrels + extra msn bible study soon (coz I think we need one and so do several other people but the usualy organisers - Jonafee - are working (masters exams) so are excused) and I might use Ruth for it.... you can get some good studies - particularly as most of the people involved will be female. Plus I actually know the historical/social context well enough to pass on this. Anyway, that was a little off the point... re-reading it has brought some interesting thoughts which I will post later - they deserve their own space - mostly to do with Naomi actually so far.

hehe..... dad forgot to turn his alarm clock off :P lololol!!

I can vaguelly play the organ stuff now:

1. Eucharist Stuff.... KNOW - can play better than before heeheee!
   
2. My song is love unknown.... KNOW - not too fast, watch left hand second line
   
3. Forth in the Peace of Christ.... KNOW - need to slow down, gain confidense then speed up
4. Volentry - Bach Allemande in D major..... KNOW - just need to transfer to organ!
   
5. Psalm 24.... NEARLY THERE - need to sort pedalling so clean! and then practise!!! LOTS!!!!!!!
6. Number 4..... CAN GET THROUGH - need to check a couple of cadenses and speed up as well as sort words
7. Number 310.... CAN GET THROUGH - ditto!

I was think of doing a blues improvisation for people to walk in to.... but then I thought one of the old ladies might have a heart attack... (!) =P

meh... I'm bored now.... I shall go do some more of the ironing and watch Monty Python!!!!

xXx 

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10/31/2005

Short! (supposedly)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

 Jeremiah 29:11

That is a happy thought.... someone mentioned the referance a while ago, and for once I didn't forget it, and am now wishing I looked it up earlier. Longer update will be added later :P, currently writing up stats and there is a chance that it will all be done by a reasonable time i.e. I can at elast have the chance to get enough sleep.

 Dissapointed with music, 20/25 but considering that I have never heard it, I spent about 4 hours on it, I only had one supervision, I've never written anything in that genre before, and the state I was in end of last term I suppose it's not that bad.

I just hate the idea that the first time stress/lack of time (I could have sorted the other things if I had had more time/inclination/energy) actually noticably impinges on work it should be in a subject I love such as music. And the fact that I let my work be affected by everything.... which I shouldn't. But good music is difficult to write under stress - emotional stuff may enhance it depending on the mood, but not stress. UGH! Trouble with arts subjects, if you're too tired/ill to care then you can only get so far. And I knew I needed to critically read it through and just couldn't manage it.

Ah well rant over and work coming up. 

21:10 Posted in Faith , Music , School | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this

10/05/2005

Long boring and complicated..... :P

Long time no writy..... lol and much has happened - so I shall copy Anne's way of organising layout.

Vagina Monologues: Brilliant... a little crude in places but very very rarely distastfully - yeah I know that sounds like a contradiction but it fitted the story... and it was the tale of one woman and would have suffered a lot to have missed bits out. The stories ranged from a victim of a bosnian rape camp... to a 72 year old woman who was put of relationships of any kind at the age of about 16 because her boyfriend was rude to her... stories of women discovering confidense in themselves and their sexuality, to an all female sex worker... to the wonder of a birth. Parts were a little sick, others horrific, others touching and sad and others simply funny. The overall message seemed to be, "It's your body there is no reason on earth to be ashamed of any part of it." As a piece of drama it was no always design in the best way, and in other places it was slightly obvious that the author was trying to make it a theatrical piece... but it conveyed its message clearly and in an amusing, emotive and memorable way and to be honest, what more can you ask of any performance. I would recomend it to almost everyone I know (you can never recomend one thing for everyone... life's just like that!)

Rennaisance Music: also very good... although I was slightly disappointed with the Tallis 40 part motet they condesed to 16 parts: 1. it only had 16 parts! and 2. they were all tired and 3. they only had one really good top soprano and that made it a little weak. However, some of their other stuff was amazing.... a range of many part motets .... the 11 part one was amazing - 2, 4 part choirs, 2 cantors (baritone) and a 4 part falcetto choir with a top top C which the sop sang beautifully (and amazingly) in tune and with good tone. There was also a beautiful version of the Sanctus sung as a round started by a verger walking around ringing a bell - more a "show" piece but still exquisite. (The pizza before hand was also funny.... we should go out as a music group more often!!! sort of "you had to be there" all evening but for example it *was* (caugh) louis' Birthday, Tom was almost sick because of his ice cream factory (literally overflowing) and the diabetic finished up everyone elses food!)

Lunch with Mum: Went to the small place next to Holy Trinity - very nice :D (and cheap) and the food was luuvely!

Funny thing: Guess who turned up to Greek on Tue.... Michael! (ex boyfriend for those of you not aquainted with my non-existant lovelife!) lolol. didn't really recognise him so I can now boast of having a conversation that went vaguelly like this:

Jasmine: "I think I did a music course with one of the people over there" (ie. new people)

Ruth: "I think I Kissed one of the people over there!"

Jasmine: "you win"

Greek: As you can see I am still doing Greek..... lol, realised day before that it did not, in fact, overlap with orcherstra so it's still on ... Organ has however moved again. lol. Nice having Sarah there, look forward to talking to her more, if her brother ever shuts up.

Atlantic College: funfunfunfun... lots of fun emails to write to admissions officers, principles and bursars! yey! Seriously the information I'm getting so far is really good. For those of you who don't know Atlantic College is one of the 10 World Colleges, IB qualification located in Wales... which I am considering going to. :D That, Hills or Leys... prefer IB though... ah well, see what information comes up.

Statistics Coursework: I now have my stats coursework! OCR! and Edexcel for the Maths exam - whats the point in that, two maths courses and they choose to use different exam boards! Anyway I have that for 2 weeks... silly thing is we have to writre it all on exam paper blah blah blah but we can trake the data home or download it, and then do it all home and simply copy it up in the lesson - How random! - - - - - Dont get me wrong I'm really not complaining.

Becca's Baptism: Becca's Baptism on Sunday, I would love to go, but I've missed so much choir - Mum not Angela having the major problem, but I have missed quite a few rehearsals and it's not really fair, then again it is her baptism... I really don't know....

As you can see, I sort of wrote this over a set of days...... lol, it's been sitting on the tool bar for ages, but hey twas fun. DAY OFF TOMORROW (and PSE yesterday) SO A THREE DAY WEEK!!!!!

Guess what I'm doing...............

.................

.................

WORK!

lol, hope you're all well

xXx

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09/18/2005

Of Music and .... music

Ok, having become sick a lousy connection (new rooter was meant to make things better!) I am writing in word and copying to blog in the brief moments I can! Becoming really sick of this now. (Note to self – ask Dad re. problem!)

Anyhoo…

Went to look at oboe yesterday…. Luuuuvely second hand Loreé has come into Wood Wind and Reed for £2200 (WOW!) and £100 knocked off if I don’t have a thumb plate added – conservatoire Oboe. -- also tried a Buffet Professional and a Howarth Intermediate

Loreé – full tone, focused and pure with exception to a very dull forked F but they say they can sort that for me. Very light :D. Keys need polishing, but that isn’t a problem.

Buffet – sweeter tone, not as full, coming from entire instrument but the forked F is much better (new oboe). Very heavy. They do do a “Green” oboe made from a composite wood, which is far far more stable and reliable but heavier and the wood compromises the tone slightly.

Howarth – similar tone to Buffet but weaker – intermediate not professional and extortionate anyway. Not too heavy.

Need to talk to Helen, then I hope I will be in time to buy the Loreé. :D:D:D:D

At the moment in Oboe playing the Handle Oboe Sonatas and 2^nd movement Sant-Sains, which are both beautiful, mostly working on technical stuff though – notes rhythms, dynamics, articulation etc.

Piano doing Grade 8 at Easter – at least I have a goal to work to now – and been given many exercises to do to strengthen fingers. Irritating soft piano! Basically I do not have to feel any contact to produce a sound so when I play a sensible piano (lessons) half the notes don’t sound at all. But pieces are still lovely! :D

Organ LEARNING TRIO SONATA! I don’t actually need that till Grade 8 or Organ Scholarship, but it’s fun and not that bad, and it’s good to have learnt it a long time in advance so you are sure to get it right!..... FUNFUNFUNFUNFUN.

I got banned from music this week – wasn’t doing suitable amounts of homework. :'(

Done more of music composition and written fully up to the interrupted cadence! :D Am enjoying excessively! - Parallel tri-tones - ???? hmmm. :P

Woh, lots of music…. Ah well, it is fun and I am now happy, so that’s good :D

To do:

• Various pieces of ridiculously easy homework – seriously ridiculous
• Composition – will go out for that, need to think.
• Geography – might skip that anyway….
• Stop reading Bridget Jones’ Diary and how to be good, when I should be working
• Tidy room, landing, living room…
• Stop writing blog when I should be working… even if all the music is fun and happy.

Mum is going away again next week…

xXx 

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09/10/2005

Now officially avoiding coursework

Today I have done some work - all of most and parts of various coursework; have to finish geography tomorrow to go and play Bridge. (*YIKES*) I am also playing organ tomorrow - Angela is away and Tom is playing some stuff but I'm doing most.

Cleaned Godly Play room at last (been meaning to all holiday) and then watched Last Night of the Proms there with Tom “dancing” delightfully (hmm) to ‘Land of Hope an Glory’ - very funny evening with generally brilliant music. The modern one was very technically good but I didn’t like it as music – bit like Serialism – and it’s a pity they have to ruin all the glory of the final pieces (e.g. ‘Jerusalem’) with ‘God Save out Gracious Queen’. The conductor was really good though and his speeches excellent.

No piano lesson today so I have slightly longer to finish learning various pieces... hopefully enough. Oboe, I have some glorious music at the moment = Handle's Oboe Sonata's and something else which I will mention when I learn how to spell the name - famous, French and fairly recent ... ooh alliteration, my English teacher would be so proud. Singing I'm singing Memory which is all very nice, very funny listening to her try to explain how to use diaphragm - don't get me wrong it's useful, but still very funny the way she goes about it, when all that really needs to be said is "Pay attention and actually work please!" but hey, she likes telling stories and she is a good teacher.

Really should finish some more geography before bed :' I shall take comfort in orange juice and Ginger Bread Men (Don’t ask how we got those – it was Dad shopping :S) ah well off to work I suppose…

heh, Heather still hasn't put her clothes away, they are in a pile on the hall floor, ah well,  she can re-iron them if needs be.

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